


Play Pretend

by Magentas_Nightmare



Category: Red Canyon (2008)
Genre: F/M, I am not a big Red Canyon writer so please go easy..., Softer Mac (younger and not yet as violent)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-02-01 03:17:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21353455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magentas_Nightmare/pseuds/Magentas_Nightmare
Summary: Previously Posted...This is a much softer Mac story than most, so if you are expecting extreme bad boy Merle you should turn to KrissyG927 cause she has the goods;) This is sweet Mac for all the softies out there like me. lol
Relationships: Mac and OCF - Fern
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Play Pretend

_ **Play Pretend** _

_ **Chapter 1** _

The thumping of his heart in his ears and his boots on the wet leaves; all Mac could hear was the thumping and he loved it. His life had always teetered on the edge, and without risk, somehow, he felt less alive.

Red and blue lights illuminated the trees around him, but he stayed low and moved fast. They had only ever brought him in on petty shit and that's only when he was high and acting the fool. Tonight, they were looking for the suspect in the armed robbery of a gas station two counties over; he met that description perfectly. He was that armed robber.

Mac knew the area better than any cop and so he moved like a snake through the brush, dodging fallen logs and branches he could predict from memory. Flashlights followed him deeper into the trees, but he had no fear, he loved the chase.

Soon he got to the edge of the trees where the canyon lay low into the earth, once he was down there, he would be gone.

Mac chuckled to himself, sweat pouring down the back of his neck and his eyes wild like a wolf.

He made it right to the edge when the land he knew like his own mind betrayed him and he lost his footing when eroded red rock gave way beneath his feet.

Mac fell unceremoniously down the rock slide and scraped his face, hands, and back on the way down. He knew it would be bad, and what made it worse was that nobody would find him. The canyon was mostly desolate, and he was about to break his head falling faster by the second with nothing to slow his descent.

/

Fern walked to the kitchen to fill a basin from the tap. The man she found at the bottom of the canyon was covered in red dust from the canyon floor. He was bleeding from multiple cuts and scrapes that she planned to clean and bandage up. It was the right thing to do.

She brought the bowl to the side table next to her dad's bed where the stranger lay. Fern observed his slow breath as she wiped his face and gently cleaned the dirt from his cuts.

If her father had been around, the man would probably still be laying in the dirt. Fern's father didn't care for outsiders, and since they were the only ones who bothered to live in the unforgiving canyon, everyone was an outsider.

Fern wanted to help the man though, she found him intriguing. She touched the man's hand and guessed that he was about her age, maybe a little older. It had been a while since she had a man and he looked good to her.

After a while, he moved in his unconscious state and made a moaning sound that stirred something inside her. His hair was dirty blonde and his facial hair was scruffy, he looked rough around the edges but very handsome. She was contemplating kissing his lips for a while but decided against it.

Fern checked his eyes with a flashlight and found that his pupils dilated just fine, she didn't know what that really meant but it seemed like a good sign to her.

Eventually, when he didn't wake up, she turned in and left him on her father's bed. In the morning she would be able to ask him who he was and where he was from.

Fern felt a little scared to be sleeping with a strange man in the house, but she didn't know what else to do. She had no car to get him to the hospital and she couldn't just leave him outside.

She drifted off with his face on her mind and a hope that he would open his blue eyes in the morning and be OK.

/

Fern awoke with a start and clutched the bedsheets to her chest in the dark. The man was up, and the lights were on. She could hear him rooting around the place like he was looking for something.

She pulled her legs over the side of the bed and walked in only her white nighty down the hall to find him.

"Hello?" she called softly.

The sound was downstairs. She grabbed her father's buck knife from his room and tiptoed down the steps to investigate.

When she did lay eyes on him, he was clearly robbing the place.

"Excuse me?"

The man turned to glare at her, his eyes wild with menacing rage. He said nothing, but she decided not to fight for the belongings. Things could be replaced.

"I brought you here, from the canyon floor. I cleaned your wounds. I wish you wouldn't take what little we have, but perhaps you need it more than we do....do you?"

The man was stunned by her, she could see that. The anger in his eyes turned to confusion, and to her amazement, he set down the bag of her possessions on the floor and headed for the door. Before reaching it, he wobbled and had to grab the frame to stop himself from crashing to the ground. He didn't look well.

"You shouldn't go," she said.

"I was just robbin' you. You fuckin' nuts or something?" he scoffed.

"I'm not crazy...I just don't think you should go when you're injured, it's dangerous out there at night."

He froze for a second and scanned her face for signs of sanity.

"Why ain't you pissed?"

"It's only stuff, we can replace objects. You're a person."

/

He didn't know what she was playing at, but he still had some suspicions about her sanity. Being out in the canyon after dark was stupid and for all he knew the cops could still be around. Staying with the strange girl was his best bet and he knew it.

"You sayin' I could stay?"

It was about midnight and if he could just make it until morning without getting picked up, he'd be OK. The second he woke up, robbing the place and taking off was the first thing that came to mind; robbery was his instinct.

Upon seeing the girl in her nighty, rape became his second instinct, but then she disarmed him with her understanding. Even with her long red hair and her sea green eyes, he felt a new kind of restraint. Normally he'd take the pretty red-head, toss her on the couch, fuck her whether she liked it or not and leave. He'd tell her to keep her mouth shut or he'd come back to gut her like a fish or something equally horrible. Somehow the women he raped never said a word and he got what he wanted. He even tried to convince himself that they liked it and that's why they didn't speak. He was garbage and he knew it, but that's who God had made him and who was he to question God? Still, for the first time in his life, Mac found that he couldn't just take what he wanted without a care.

"You can stay," she nodded. "You can go back to sleep in my dad's bed again. He won't be back for a few days anyway."

"OK."

He wondered if she was going to wait till, he crashed and call the police, but it didn't seem likely from the look on her face. This girl looked at him like a friend or something.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Mac."

He regretted telling her his name right away. Mac lived up in a town above the canyon a few miles away, but it was still close enough that she could rat him out if she wanted to. He decided to lie about where he lived.

"I ain't from 'round here."

"I'm Fern."

"That's a hillbilly name," he grinned.

"What do you think I am?" she answered casually. "I live in a shack at the bottom of a canyon, hunt squirrels and drink moonshine. I know what I am and I'm not ashamed."

"Hey, sorry. Didn't mean nothin' by it. I'm a hillbilly too," he insisted.

"If you're hungry, help yourself to anything in the fridge," she nodded.

He could tell he pissed her off, he was good at pissing off women.

"Hey, come on...I'm sorry. How can I make it right?" he asked.

"You clean and straight?" she asked, eyeing the bulge in his jeans without embarrassment.

"You mean-"

"Are you?"

"Yeah, you sayin' you wanna fuck?"

"Come to bed," she said casually and began walking up the stairs.

Mac followed behind her and eyed the white nighty hungrily. She crawled onto her father's bed and he decided to just go with it. Fern was cute looking, and he was more than happy to fuck her if that's what she wanted.

Mac said nothing, he just pulled off his shirt and climbed onto the bed. His head was still throbbing, but pussy was pussy, and he liked the idea of a willing woman for a change.

He grabbed her by her wrists and pulled her hands overhead. Even if she wanted it, he had certain forceful moves he liked. Mac wasn't the making love type.

He nudged his knees between hers and kissed her mouth roughly, urging a soft whine from her lips. He liked that.

He let go of one hand to reach down and yank the nighty up and over her breasts.

"Fuck yes," he groaned and bent down to take them with his mouth, one at a time.

She writhed under him and he could tell he was going a little hard and fast for her, and for the first time ever, he took the input and altered course.

Mac moved back and let her come at him instead.

/

Fern questioned her decision to offer herself to him when he bit her breasts, he didn't even seem to notice his teeth were grazing her skin. He was in a frenzy.

She was thankful when he backed up and let her give it a go. Fern went for his belt and tore at it with similar ferocity to his first attack. She didn't have a lot of experience, but she had slept with two men who worked down in the canyon over the summer. They were both miners and the sex had been nice and simple. Drinks around a bonfire in the canyon and then a quick fuck in the truck or back at their hotel room. Her father knew nothing about it and she didn't plan to tell him.

With his belt open, she got to Mac's dick and was delighted to find him huge and hard.

"Why you fuckin' with me?" he asked.

"Cause I need it and you look good to me,” she explained simply.

"Good enough for me."

Mac wound up tangled in her and she countered his aggression almost beat for beat. The battle to get to the other's body ended in a sideways 69 position. He pulled her to his mouth with his fingernails digging into her ass cheeks. He needed her closer, always closer.

There was so much passion in the way she took him into her mouth. She used her hands, mouth, lips, and tongue to please him and it was different.

Mac had made girls do this and beyond the sexual thrill he gained from the imbalance of power, it never felt physically good to him. The fact that she was sucking his dick because she wanted to made it feel intensely good.

He needed her to cum, and that was also a new thing. Normally Mac wasn't overly concerned with the other person's pleasure. Something about her was so unexpected, the way she pulled him into the bed and wasn't angry about him robbing her. Mac couldn't pin down her motivations and it excited him.

He fingered her and licked her smoothly until she was almost there.

"So, can I fuck you?" he panted.

"Yeah, just a second."

Mac lay back on the bed as she got up to walk away, presumably for a condom. Anticipation burned high as he awaited her return, and when she was back in the bed he went off.

/

Fern was urged on top of him as he pulled her face to his roughly. He wanted to be ridden, that never happened in his sexual world. He was almost always on top, holding them down.

She hadn't even lowered her pelvis to meet his body and already he was fucking up into her. The sexual need in him was not like anything she ever encountered. Mac was a madman in bed.

She loved the way it felt though, she just stayed on her knees as he thrust tirelessly up inside her. He groaned and growled and never seemed to reach exhaustion.

Eventually, he lay her on her belly and gave it to her hard from behind. He came down over her shoulder to growl into her ear that she better cum, and then he slid his fingers under her body to stroke her clit.

"Cum for me," he demanded. "Do it now."

And she did. Her body obeyed him.

/

The next morning, Fern assumed he'd just go. In fact, she was surprised to even see him there when she opened her eyes.

He was sat on a bench in her father's room, only a few feet from the bed holding a cowboy hat.

"That was my grandfather's hat," she said.

Mac placed it on his head and asked how it looked.

"Looks good. You look like a bad guy from a western."

"I am a bad guy," he answered.

"Just because you were going to steal?"

"It's a lot more than that. Should I go now?"

"You can stay if you like, it's up to you."

"What are you doing today?" he asked.

"Hanging out, might go for a ride in the canyon on my quad, have a few drinks. There ain't much to do around here."

"I could hang out for the day."

"Come on then."

Mac decided to stay for the day, with any luck he'd get to fuck her again. Fern didn't know who he was or what he had done in life and he felt free from the shadow of his crimes for once. Maybe he could just enjoy the day with her, have some fun, act as if he was a good guy and play house with Fern...maybe he could just play pretend.

_ **Chapter 2** _

Fern knew only what she had seen, not all of it good, but none of it bad enough to make her want him to go. Mac wondered what a day with her would be like and he had nowhere else to go, so he stayed.

Fern pulled him back to bed where he experienced his first ever 'cuddle session' and he found that he liked it. She ran her fingertips up and down his bare back and they spoke quietly to each other about nothing much at all.

"I can't believe you were robbing me after I dragged your ass back here, you bugger," she giggled.

"I can't believe you wanted to fuck after that."

"Hey, it's been a while and a girl has needs," she sighed.

"You're crazy but I think I like that about you."

/

Fern made him the kind of breakfast that could shorten a man's life when they eventually got up. He was served eggs, ham, potatoes, and toast with butter and he considered proposing right there. Mac never had anyone cook for him, a fair amount of his childhood was spent fending for himself.

"You're a hell of a cook, Fern."

"Been cooking for my daddy since I was a girl and he likes to eat."

She watched him eat like she was getting off on pleasing him and he couldn't help noting that it was the first time anyone was treating him this way. As good as it felt, it also made him uncomfortable. Mac was 24 and had already established who he was, Fern was messing with that. He was OK with the fact that he was a loner/badass, or at least that's what he had believed before meeting her.

After breakfast, she cleared away the dishes and told him to take a shower. She said she wanted to take him for a ride and he shook his head at her sweetness. Fern wasn't like any of the girls in town, but he understood why the girls in town feared him. They had every reason to hate him and steer clear.

/

Fern cleaned up and fixed her hair in the downstairs hallway mirror. The house she lived in was tiny and old as time, but it had always been her home so it felt like the only place she could ever live. Ever since her mother ran off and left her with her father, her home became her safe space and her father was the only one she truly trusted. In matters of the heart, she had trouble believing in men...but something about Mac felt different.

Mac finally came downstairs in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from her dad's closet and she had to chuckle. She told him to take whatever fit so she could wash the filthy clothing he had on before.

"My dad has a few more pounds on him than you, but at least I can toss your stuff in the washer," she sighed.

"You're bein' a little too nice to me, just so ya know."

"I know, but I like the company. Come on."

Fern led him out the door to her quad and told him to hop on the back. He held on around her waist as she headed to an area with some hills and a bit of a view. The red rock surrounded them like they had landed in a crater on Mars. Coming from the canyon area was like living as an alien. The environment looked like nowhere else on earth, an abstract environment with an entirely separate culture. It was a harsh environment and a harsh culture.

/

Fern drove like a madwoman over hills, through red dust and out to areas he didn't even know and he knew the canyons fairly well.

He hugged her from behind and found himself closing his eyes and letting go for once. He could relax in her presence and for a few hours, he forgot the terrible things he'd done. He wasn't a drug dealer, thief or rapist; he was boyfriend material with Fern.

By lunchtime, they were far from her home and sat on a warm flat red rock in the sunshine. They had climbed to a spot she knew well, her thinking spot, and he watched her thinking.

"Fern."

"Yeah?"

"Was I too rough with you last night?"

"No. I would have said so."

"I'm not the kind of guy who makes love."

"Maybe you just need to find the one," she suggested.

"You believe in that stuff?" he asked.

The wind blew her hair around as she absentmindedly watched fluffy clouds floating overhead.

"Yes. There's someone out there for everyone, a person who makes everything right. I don't know how I'll ever find them while I'm stuck down here with my dad...but maybe someday."

"Why are you here with him?"

"He needs me. He has nobody else."

"Good daughter."

"I try to be."

"What kind of man are you waiting around for anyway?"

She smiled and lay back on the flat rock at the edge of the canyon like it was her happy place.

"He would be brave and cocky," she began. "But also sexy as hell and would do anything to make me smile."

"What makes you smile?"

Mac had no idea why he was asking her anything this personal when he was planning to take off that night and never see her again, but he was curious.

"I just want a man who loves me, if he loves me and treats me like he loves me then that would make me smile all the time."

"Sounds simple enough," he nodded and lay down next to her on the rock to look up at the sky.

/

Fern drove them back to her place in the late afternoon and they were both starving. She made a big pot of spaghetti and Mac ate like an animal again. She broke out the moonshine and curled up next to him on the couch to let the day go.

"Fuckin' hell this is strong!" he hissed at his first sip.

"Pussy," she winked.

"You're somethin' else, Fern."

"Just a common hillbilly," she laughed.

"No, you ain't like anyone."

She loved the way he was looking at her and she hoped they'd start seeing each other. Maybe he was the one.

"You're not like anyone either."

Mac shrugged then and insisted he was different in a bad way.

"You get down on yourself too much. Stealing isn't right but there's worse things."

"I've done worse things."

"Should I ask?"

"No. Just trust me when I say I'm not worth your time."

Fern wondered what could possibly be so bad, but she also didn't care. She just wanted to touch him again.

After a little too much to drink, she leaned her head on his shoulder and lay her hand on his thigh.

"I had a good day with you, Fern. Thanks."

"No problem. It was nice to have someone to talk to."

"Sex wasn't half bad either," he added.

"It was great," she agreed.

"Would you wanna give it another go?" he asked. "Maybe it could be a little different this time."

"Different how?"

Mac turned toward her then and touched her hair, he played with it for a minute and she just watched as his fingers moved through the strands.

"I just want to slow it down and really feel it...you make me want it slower."

"It can be however you want," she said softly.

Mac leaned in to kiss her on the couch and it was a 180-degree turn from the night before. He sucked her bottom lip between his, touched her cheek gently, and spent 3 minutes straight simply kissing her.

There was something between them, maybe just something simple but it was there. Fern loved his shaggy blonde hair, his blue eyes and the way that he was touching her at that moment.

She moved closer and soon she was on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck and kissing him more insistently. Fern didn't want to wonder where it was going if anywhere, she had a feeling she'd be let down. Still, she did wonder.

Mac kissed her shoulders after lifting her shirt up and over her head. His kiss was completely different and he made his way down between her breasts with his lips so softly.

"I don't do stuff like this," he said, almost as if he was talking to himself.

"It feels so good," she answered.

Her head fell back and he held her chest to his face with both strong hands on her back.

/

This was all he could have with her so he was going to enjoy it. Nobody had to know what it meant to him, he wasn't even ready to admit it to himself. This interaction meant so much more than sex to him, but it was a lie. If Fern knew who he really was, there's no way she'd even have him in her home. She certainly wouldn't be squirming seductively on his lap and telling him how good it felt to be with him.

She pulled his shirt off next and he decided to lay her out on the couch for a while. Mac kissed down her body to her belly like a teardrop down a cheek, there was something mournful about touching her because he knew he couldn't do this with her.

The whole idea of a relationship with her was impossible.

She wanted his touch so badly that she removed her own clothes to be completely nude with him. She urged him over her and the softness of her skin made him wild with desire. Fern smelled naturally good, it wasn't cheap perfume or anything like that. Fern smelled like fresh air, and nature. Mac found himself wanting to take her and run away so she could be with him and never learn the truth but he had not a dime to his name and no future to offer her.

He kissed his way to her pussy and used all of his skills slower and more gently than he ever normally did. It felt incredible to touch a woman who wanted him, it was a common sense thing that never occurred to him when he was normally high or drunk or both.

She tasted so good, and it killed him that he'd never taste her sweetness again. He teased her until she was just about there and then she tackled him on the couch. This time, she was more of the aggressor.

She climbed onto his lap as he sat helplessly before her. Before he could remind her about a condom she was on him and taking him in.

/

Fern trembled as she settled down on his cock and felt it literally everywhere. All the way from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, blood flowed to every nerve and she could swear she was burning alive.

He leaned in close to kiss her neck, her breasts, and her lips. She could feel it in his touch, he was right there with her in the moment. She knew he could feel the intensity of it too.

She rode his dick slow and steady as he held her close like nothing could ever part them. Soon, the sensation of his hot mouth on her skin, and the way his dick stroked the front wall of her insides made it impossible to stay sane.

"That's right, honey...you feel that?" he growled.

"I feel it, I'm right there."

/

Mac grabbed her ass with both hands, pulled her down harder on his dick and leaned his head back on the couch to let it all go. She had her hands pressed against his chest and was whispering his name over and over.

He had to cum, and there was just no containing it.

"Honey, I can't..." he uttered but he was already there and so was she.

"Me too..."

They came apart on each other and it was better than either of them knew possible.

/

They had a few more drinks, they laughed and joked and fell into bed together that night.

"So...what's your plan now?" she asked him point blank and he was cornered so he did what he normally did, he lied.

"Don't know yet...we can see how it goes."

"I think we may have something here," she smiled.

Mac could see the hope in her eyes and he hated it. He curled up close so he didn't have to look at her expression. He just wanted to hold her while she was still near to him.

As far as Mac was concerned he could marry her, he could love Fern as long as he lived...but things like that were just dreams. Mac had already made his bed in life and it wasn't a fit place for Fern to lay her head.

He waited until she drifted off and left her a note to explain as best he could. Nothing felt OK as he left her there, but it was the right thing to do even if it hurt.

She looked like a red-headed angel the last time he saw her and he planned to hold that image in his head forever. He knew she'd be 'the one that got away' for him, except that he was letting her go.

It felt wrong to go, but somehow that convinced him even more that it was exactly what he should be doing. It would be selfish to stay, to fall even deeper in love, only to have her find out he was a druggie who had a long history of not taking no for an answer with women. Fern deserved better and he refused to stand in the way of that; for once Mac was going to do the right thing even if it killed him.

_ **Chapter 3** _

Fern's father eyed her from across the small living room, he was done pretending that he couldn't see the truth.

"We ever gonna discuss that?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"Fern."

"What?"

"You're gettin' a little round these days."

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders at him, there was no point in trying to hide it now. At 4 months pregnant she was showing a lot more than she expected to be. Fern had decided not to look for Mac after he left her there, she wasn't the type to beg anyone to stay. Her own father had spent months begging her mother to stay and it made her sick; Fern wouldn't be that girl.

"I'm pregnant," she said simply.

"I can see that, Fern. I ain't blind. Whose is it?"

"Mine."

"I mean the father."

"My child has no father."

"Immaculate conception, huh?"

"Yep."

"So be it. When is it comin'?"

"Five months."

"I'll need to work more then. I'll take that job on the farm to earn some more money."

"Dad...I'm sorry."

"Hey, babies are good things. You sure were," he smiled. "We'll figure it all out."

"I love you, dad."

"Love you too, Fern. You gotta go see the doctor though, you gotta know if everything is OK."

"I will."

"Good girl."

/

Mac pawned a stolen ring to get the drug money he needed that day, he had been high or drunk since leaving Fern.

He planned to take his latest score back home and disappear for a few days again. His life had been reduced to resurfacing for food and drugs and then disappearing again. He hadn't had sex since Fern either and that was killing him. He felt up one girl in the bar when he was smashed a few weeks before but she smacked him out when he called her Fern.

Mac just wanted to grab a couple tallboys of beer to ease into the evening when he saw her on the main street and it hit him like a ton of bricks.

Fern was beautiful as ever with her red hair tied half up and a cream colored dress clinging to some new curves. She walked carelessly to a truck and opened the door to grab some paperwork off the seat.

Mac knew she'd be pissed, but he had to go and say something to her. All he thought of since the night he walked out was her. No matter how he tried to drown her memory in booze or drugs, she was still right there in his mind every time he closed his eyes.

Mac sped up to catch her before she drove off and called out to her.

"Fern!"'

When she turned, and he was just that little bit closer, he could see that her new curves weren't just curves. She said nothing as he walked up to her and she didn't stop either. Fern put the keys in the ignition like he wasn't even there and that stung.

Mac grabbed the door frame of the truck when she tried to pull away and begged her to stop.

"Wait! Just gimme a minute!" he exclaimed.

"Why?"

"I wanna talk to you."

"Why?"

"Whose baby you carryin'?" he demanded.

"Mine," she shot back, but her voice wavered in her throat.

"Fern...I didn't mean to-"

"To what? I thought you liked me."

"I do. I like you too much! That's the whole problem."

"I don't have time for this," she sighed.

"We need to talk."

"No, we don't...you didn't want this, and I accept that. I don't need a man who's only with me out of obligation. Me and the baby will be OK. You're absolved."

"Hey-"

She pulled away then and he growled out loud.

"Fuck!"

/

Back at the dump he was currently calling home, Mac wondered what he could say to change her mind, but also what he had to offer her if he did change her mind.

His addictions were something he couldn't fight alone, and he refused to be a part of his kid's life if he wasn't dealing with that problem first. He was without a friend in life, this was not the kind of thing you discussed with your drug buddies. His own father was nobody worth asking about parenting either.

Fern was the only one he needed to talk to anyway.

That night he drove out to her place and hoped her father wouldn't break his neck, he hadn't met the man but he assumed he was on his shit list.

Mac knocked on the door and a man a little bigger and quite a bit older answered.

"Yeah?" the man said briskly.

"I was lookin' for Fern."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Mac...did she tell you about me?"

"She ain't said nothing. Looks to me like there ain't much to tell," the man growled.

"I didn't even know she was...expecting. Now that I do know, I wanna make it right."

"So you just fucked her and ran off? That's why you didn't know nothing about it?"

"Yeah...but it wasn't cause I don't care about her."

"Sounds like you better come inside and do some explaining."

"Is she here?"

"No. She's out for a ride. She said she needed to think."

"Oh."

Mac sat down across from Fern's dad and was poured a mason jar of moonshine. The moonshine was evil shit but he drank it anyway.

"I'm Douglas McNally," he began. "Fern is my whole life and I won't take anyone messing her around."

"I understand."

Mac figured it was best to just let the man talk.

"Her mother ran off when she was 11 and it's only been me and her ever since. My Fern is a good woman, not like her mother."

Mac just nodded. He didn't know what this was all about but he decided to keep his yap shut and thank God he still had all his teeth.

"If she was left again by someone important to her, it would break her in two. So, what are your intentions if I let you talk to her?"

"I need to tell you the truth, and you can run me outta here if you have to," Mac began.

"Go on."

"I'm a petty criminal, I take my share of drugs, and I have a shady past with women that I ain't proud of. I wanna get help with all my problems so I can be of some use to Fern. The truth is...I never wanted to walk out, but I know I'm not good enough for your daughter. I thought I was doing her a favor by just leaving."

"What can you do to get help?" Douglas asked.

"I can go to NA meetings...and there's a counselor in town I could talk to."

"You aren't good enough for her, but does she love you?"

"I think she does...or at least she was starting to."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"If you ever hurt her, I'll bury you in the canyon after the longest death on record."

"I know."

/

Mac was allowed to go find her and he knew just where she would be. He took the long winding road out to her thinking spot, high up on the edge of the canyon where they lay on the flat rock looking up at the clouds. Now it was dark and the stars took over the sky as far as the eye could see.

He parked the truck at the bottom with the lights off and looked up to see her bare foot dangling over the edge.

He didn't know what he would say to her after everything, but he had to make it good.

/

Fern looked up at the words on the paper, she had read and reread the letter over and over for months and still, it hurt.

_ **I know you'll be pissed at me, but I'm not leaving cause of you. I'm leaving cause of me. This could have been perfect, but I'm not the one for you. You can do a lot better and I hope that man you want comes along soon to make you smile all the time. You deserve that. This day with you was the best thing I ever had in my whole life, and I won't forget you, Fern. Just remember that I'm gone because I'm not good enough, not because you aren't good enough. You are everything.** _

Fern sighed and lay her hand on her belly, she kept feeling very faint fluttering and it made her smile. She was far from the first woman in her family to have a child out of wedlock and to barely know the father. The doctor said all was well with the baby and she was just glad she hadn't turned to drink after Mac left, she counted her lucky stars that she turned to sad poetry instead. She wanted the baby that was growing inside her now, the child would be her family and she would never leave her daughter as her mother left her.

"Hey....Fern?"

She sat up like a bolt and looked around her in the dark.

"Who's there?" she called.

"It's me."

A hand appeared over the edge of the flat rock and this time she recognized the voice.

"What are you doing here?" she sighed.

"I need to talk to you. Just hear me out, please?"

Fern moved over on the rock to allow him to sit next to her.

"I get it, Mac...it was just sex."

"It wasn't just sex...that's why I left."

"Uh huh."

"I'm a bad person, Fern. I take a lot of drugs and I steal anything that ain't bolted down....and I've done things with women that you would hate me for."

"What have you done with women?" she asked.

"I...I forced myself on girls...and I threatened them so they wouldn't say anything."

"Jesus!"

"I know."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"So that you'll know why I took off. You don't need someone like me in your life...but I still want to help support you if I can."

"Do you have a job?"

"No. But by the time this baby comes I will and I'll have some money saved up for you too. I'm going to NA and giving up the junk."

"Do you think you can give it all up?"

"I know I can."

"So that's it?"

"I haven't touched another woman since you, Fern."

"I don't know how to feel about what you said."

"I understand. I told you I was a bad person and I wasn't lying. I just want you to know that being with you was what showed me how bad I really was...I'll never hurt another woman as long as I live because of you."

"At least something good came out of this," she said.

"I know I blew it, Fern...but I do love you. Being with you was incredible. I just wish...I wish I could go back to that night that we made love and do everything differently, but I know I can't."

/

She said nothing, she just looked at him with those pretty eyes. Mac found himself wondering if the child would have her eyes and if he'd be allowed to spend time with the baby.

Mostly, he thought of kissing her again.

When she didn't respond after a minute, he figured that was it and asked if he should go.

"I wanted you to stay," she said when he began to back down the slope.

"I'm sorry I didn't."

"You swear I'll never hear of you messing with any woman."

"I swear...and I'm going to get help with my issues."

"Do you want to try this again?" she smiled.

"More than anything. I can't promise you I can be perfect overnight but I'm going to give it everything I have."

"Come here," she said, and she opened her arms to him.

Mac lay next to Fern on the flat red rock that night and they counted the stars, mulled over baby names, and he knew that he could change for her. Mac didn't want to play pretend anymore, he wanted to be a better man, he wanted to be Fern's man.


End file.
